May 2013
disneyprincest:
i hate when you voluntarily tell your parents some information about your life because you think you can trust them and then they bitch at you for it like congrats you have guaranteed that i will never tell you anything ever again
americugh:
When a cute boy sneezes I don’t say bless u because I see that god already has
andrewhussiesbosom:
BITCH I’LL FUCKING CUT YOU a slice of cake because youre a cutie and deserve really sweet things and do you need anything else? no? [smooches your face bc youre really cute]
laughingnancy:
IS IT A FRIEND CRUSH
OR IS IT A REAL CRUSH
meladoodle:
*doctor delivers baby* yes that’ll be $8 for shipping and handling
woofuckingjiho:
you know that “joke” your friend makes about you and the only problem is that it actually hits home and you sit there and realize that they were probably being serious in an indirect way and covering up their true thoughts by passing it off as a joke and then you just sit there feeling like shit for the entire day
dont yell at me
bananakittywho:
snaku:
dont yell at me
dont yell at me
dont yell at me
dont yell at me
dont
yell
at
me
instead of yelling try not yelling
if you ever yell at me, i promise you i will cry no matter who you are or what i did
aftershe:
egberts:
lets have a sleepover and ignore each other while we blog
and occasionally show eachother funny text posts
twerking-amporas:
ghilles:
snarg:
when skinny people call themselves fat and you’re heavier then them
Those chunky potato fry things are delicious.
they are called smiley fries you uncultured shit
celeryandhummus:
our kids will probably attend a middle school dance where the theme is the 2010’s
they’ll wear leggings with ugg boots and twerk to “call me maybe”
jewassicpark:
“pass me a joint”
i rip off my arm, crying as i pass the detached extremity to my friend
sorryforpartybarackin:
the best kind of people are the really cute ones that you wanna cuddle and drink hot chocolate and go for walks in the park and watch dumb movies and build blanket forts with but also slam up against a wall and fuck their brains out
muffinmachine:
My grandpa got his first spam email and he called the police
methlabrador:
[tour guide voice] now if i could direct you to your left. then to your right. bring it back now yall
